Random thoughts @ 4AM

I woke up with a bad dream and I was left with nothing but scared. When I was still studying in Mapua, I witnessed and experienced to be robbed in many ways, pick pocket and many more. For the last 2 years of studying in Mapua, I've been robbed twice (not to mention the most traumatic scenario happened to me when I was in 2nd year and a guy just took my phone and kicked my sprained ankle). The first time was then I was hold up-ed at Philcoa. I was riding a FX. Second was when I was a few meters away from Tandang Sora (a place where they call "Luzon"? I'm not sure) as I enter the bus, 5 guys approached me and took my tablet- they opened my bag and got my tablet in just few seconds.

I overcame the trauma but it's a tough and painful process. I remember one time, I was so scared with big guys wearing big shirts, I was so scared to death that whenever there is a guy who's in the same van with me, I immediately go down wherever I may be and I don't care if I paid a full fare.

So when I dreamt of 4 guys in a jeepney who is supposedly will hold up us, I immediately wake up and I was panting. I was just so scared and I immediately chat my partner regarding the dream and it eases my fright and I managed to go back to sleep but the feeling came back. The fright, the anger and the fustration came back to me.

But one thing that I realized as soon as I wake up is that I need to treasure my life more. I really wanted to see my baby grow up, have girlfriends, have kids and I really want to be married with my partner. I realized that I need to be more positive and look in the brighter side even things are provoking me that much. There are times that I get so pissed and now, I need to manage to just let my piss go away without ranting. Not all things will come the way I expected it to be.

Life is beautiful and we are the one's who ruin it, we are the one's who think of negative thought that pollutes our mind. Life is so precious to be stressed and be depressed, we should not take it for granted because when God take your life away from you, you can't escape from it.

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